How To Destroy Your Relationship (in 6 Easy Steps)

If you’re in a relationship with a great guy but you just love drama and want to be miserable, all you need to do is follow these six steps and you will be crying and lonely in no time! This is a guaranteed and proven method.

The couple in this picture is clearly way too happy. Not okay.

1. Remember everything rude or annoying your partner ever does. Do not forget it. Do not let him forget it. Say that you forgive him but hold on to it secretly and bring it up during disagreements that have nothing to do with it. Never allow anything nice or romantic he does to make up for his mistakes.

2. Roll your eyes a lot. Sigh at him when he does something stupid, or speaks at all. Interrupt him, especially in front of other people. Never say thank you. Respond to him most often with, “Whatever…”.

3. Never talk about your feelings. If you do, make sure to be overly dramatic by either a.)Getting super angry, yelling and swearing, or b.) Crying hysterically and telling them how mean he is and how broken you feel. Make sure he knows everything is his fault. He’s ruining everything.

4. Tell everyone. Every time your partner does something wrong or something you disagree with, tell all of your friends, and your mom. You will feel so much better when everyone agrees with you about what a jerk he is and how much better you deserve to be treated. Think about leaving and how much better your life would be with someone else. Someone better. Post cryptic statuses about this on social media.

5. Be suspicious, jealous, and controlling. Check his phone regularly. If you see any attractive females on his social media friend lists, stalk them online. If they start interacting with him, send them a nasty message. Anytime he talks to someone who seems attractive or friendly, get angry. If he does this at a social outing, treat him coldly. Your partner is probably cheating on you with anyone he looks at.

PN_annoyed_woman

6. Punish him. If you don’t like something he did, speak to him sarcastically. Do not hug or kiss him. If he reaches out to you, just stand there. Stare off into space. Keep your arms crossed. DO NOT have sex with him. This will teach him to listen better.

Good luck!

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About Mostly Hippie Mama

I'm a believer in attachment parenting, eating real food, unschooling, being honest, homebirth, natural medicine, hard work, doing it yourself, being frugal and that being in the wilderness is the best way to find yourself. I love my family and living life.
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